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Bad parenting skill #3, Keep the ball in their court

August 25th, 2008

My son came up to me with a distraught look in his face;  he couldn’t find his new shoes.  “I’ve looked everywhere and can’t find them!” he complained.  Now, the good mom in me, the one that wants to solve all problems, almost stopped the activity I was engaged in and started to look for those lost shoes.  But I have learned from experience, that as soon as I start looking for the lost article, my son stops looking. He tosses the lost item problem into my court and makes it my problem.

I stopped my first impusle, and I asked this question, “Where did you last have them?”  I continued my work;  he stood still, thought very hard, and he ran off.  Next time I saw him, his new shoes were on his feet.  He solved his own problem, which he should have;  I got to finish my work.  Next time, maybe he will be more responsible with his shoes.  Next time he loses something, hopefully, he’ll take full responsibility for finding it.

Next bad parenting tip, Keeping the ball in their court:  Homework.

Entry Filed under: Daily Routines for Kids